did up some photos for bikereg.com and passed them along to fred yesterday (that's this guy):


for the record, i really dislike watermarking photos and have avoided it as long as possible.
i can't avoid any longer! oh well. it was a good run.

this is the first sunday in....months? that i haven't been at a race. it feels weird.

yesterday, i became obsessed with emptying the storage unit i have had for more than a year. you would think i didn't need all the stuff in there if i haven't touched it in a year... but it was more of a space issue of combining 2 people's stuff together than not actually needing it.

i discovered that i had temporarily abandoned my mamiya 645 pro in there, all perfectly packaged and in it's own bag. with all 4 of those lenses settled in with it.

that camera. incredible. gifted to me by the also incredible tom galliher a few years ago. GIFTED TO ME. while i couldn't believe it was really being given to me at the time, it is, if possible, even more baffling now, knowing how much in love you can fall with a particular camera that does exactly what you want in certain circumstances. it is, of course, shocking on a financial level too, but less so (he's pro, i'm sure he's trading in and trading up fairly frequently. i don't know).

i feel the need to publicly thank him again for fostering my love of photography and for contributing to fostering whatever talent i have in my trigger finger... his selfless gift to me, someone he hardly knows, has never been forgotten or taken for granted.

rediscovering the mamiya has given me an obsession to return to film. so pardon me if waste a little extra money in the months to come... it is necessary for my sanity to cultivate whatever creativity and patience still reside in my brain.

i also decided upon development of the preposterous amount of rolls of film i have discovered upon (finally) unpacking boxes. this is the stash so far:


i also discovered that i have ABSOLUTELY NO 120mm take up reels. it's ridiculous because i used to have about a hundred at any given time. now i have none. i have been away from film too long, and that right there proves it.

This next week promises to be a little more relaxing than this past week was (overtime at work, much?), but i will be traveling to iceman in traverse city, michigan, to cheer on my wonderful father, who is my personal favorite cyclist that has ever lived. (and neff? if he goes... i'm thinking he usually does maybe).

i decided that i have a happy affair with richard misrach.
it started with this photo. but i spent the last hour perusing online and when i found an abstract of his (from Desert Cantos) i knew it was for sure: "As interesting and provocative as the cultural geography might be, the desert may serve as the backdrop for the problematic relationship between man and the environment. The human struggle, the successes and failures, the use and abuse, both noble and foolish, are readily apparent in the desert. Symbols and relationships seem to arise that stand for the human condition itself. It is a simple, if almost incomprehensible equation: the world is as terrible as it is beautiful, but when you look more closely, it is as beautiful as it is terrible. We must maintain constant vigilance, to protect the world from ourselves, and to embrace the world as it exists."
and i agree.

spent today doing lots of things, some which i needed to do, others which i wanted to do.

finally ate some serious solid food (after being flu-stricken for the last week) at village deli for breakfast with kristina (my first experience with VD [ha.ha.] for breakfast) and ellis was our server and it was good to see him and chat again. it's so funny, everyone seems to be in the same mode right now.... i'm not sure whether it's due to it being new years season and being inadvertently and societally forced to make resolutions/decisions/plans, or whether it's just that point of the winter when people subconsciously need something to look forward to, instead of bleak white/brown snow. erik is, kristina is, ellis was, i am... in need of feeling like i'm living my life like i'm supposed to, like there's got to be a way to get out indiana (this i already know, duh). like i'm waiting and waiting to do all these things i want to do because work/making money/being somewhat secure is more important. it may be time for a life reorganization, lolz. been thinking about my trip to LA. socal scares me.... i don't expect to be disavowed of any of my current assumptions about southern california. i'll be happy to come home, i think (but sad to leave erin once again).

on that note, i was at a bookstore today (mainly to buy a planner for 2010. i got a sassy brown one), and i was browsing my favorite section and i rediscovered annie leibovitz's "Women" and was just struck by the labels of all the women. "olympic gold medalist", "united states secretary of state", "mother", an all sorts of things. i wonder how they chose what to label them. someone who is a mother is certainly other things as well, just as there's more to the US secretary of state than her job title. and i was thinking, whatever label would have to change as life progressed. it seems limiting to use one label. but i mean, who can argue with annie and susan sontag? it just seems wrong.

i also looked a book that was beautiful inside and out. the great thing is that not only were the photos beautiful, but the concept was beautiful. something black and white made me appreciate the variety in my life and the variety in such dullness. "The Oxford Project". i was reading it and a dude walked up and i asked if i was in the way of him looking at the shelf and he said no and then saw what i was reading and said to me "i own that. it's amazing. if you don't mind a stranger's recommendation, i would buy that if i were you." i would have bought it if it wasn't 50 bucks and pawed over. i'll buy a nice new that one no one's bent up.

i saw a title out of the corner of my eye that was "why art cannot be taught" and my mind's first thought of how to finish it was "...it must be fostered." it's so true.

love today.

i think i worry too much. resolution to stop that. done.

lots to do today. POST OFFICE. so important. AND drop off the YAL photo drive. muy importante.

meera's back on the grid :-D i've missed that girl.

we went a-to yogi's last night, and also managed to see and hang out with kevin there; such a baller, my fav professor ever. he took some photos. you know. tried 2 new beers and an old favorite and only paid for two of them. happiness comes with knowing your bartenders and your bartenders' friends.

had fazoli's with corey. (AND saw adam. double whammy.)

i hate it. everything was fine. but i always feel like i have someplace better to be. i guess it's because i do. i just feel as though i come off as a bitch, which i don't mean to. i guess i didn't though.