chicago+indiana

It is with so much excitement that I can recap my trip to Chicago and Indiana; I've had a whole week to process it all.

Hazel and I had much quality pillow talk time (wherein I always fell asleep first, of course... so sleepy).
I spent Monday with the fabulous Lara Casey, Emily Ley, and Gina Zeidler, doing the hard work at the Making Things Happen intensive and really figuring out what matters most to me and how to get to where I really want to be, and I'm proud to say that I'm on a track that I'm choosing for myself, and I am officially open for business as Caitlin Hamilton Photography! big doins... I owe my "get it!" attitude change to the 30 wonderful women who shared all of themselves with me and allowed me to share myself with them.

 Saw some wonderful, fabulous people I haven't seen in years, Joe and Helen, AND got to meet their incredible daughter Jules for the first time.  Spent some real quality time with my friend Wes for the first time in years; we went to the MCA and both found contemporary art that we didn't hate and that we understood (goal accomplished!).
Hazel convinced me to get my first haircut in 5 years (OMG), and afterwards, I bought some bright pink nail polish on a whim that was just so bright and happy.
I mastered public transit, while looking great.
I got to see Jill and Devin, SUCH a treat. We ventured to the botanical conservatory and to deep dish pizza and shared so many laughs... so wonderful to fall right in with them like we never left each other.
Hazel took me to the Chicago Botanic Gardens, where she does research (because she is AWESOME!) and I gotta tell you, I fell in love with it. I'd love to shoot there someday. It was seriously the most PERFECT fall morning... I had me time without a phone or a camera and it was just incredible. Walking through each section was like walking into a different world every 10 minutes.
Went to Indiana to ride the Hilly, race bloomingcx, and see so many people I have missed so much.
Bakehouse Breakfasts, talks with Alycin, quality time with Teddy, Jim, and Linda, and so much chamois time. The gracious Lyle both feeding us at Scholar's Inn and allowing us to dance up a storm at his house while dressed in Halloween Costumes... his generosity continues to astound me.

I have it all.
Reconnecting with all of these fabulous people helped me so much to reconnect with ME, which is so so so important and I'm forever grateful to have had such a perfect week with you all.

it's a new day, in all senses of the word.

who knew i would come out of my new shell and into my own photos once again?
several major updates are coming, watch out.

my nyc.

this is my personal new york. the view from the 35th floor, the best shower in the history of planet earth, another from my Francesca buzz, and watching celebrity ghost stories and eating crumbs cupcakes with rachel, and the best ferry ride of all time. i did a lot of things, but these are the memories that stand out the most. not your average "i went to new york cityyyyyy" photos, i know... they're just for me!

just one from a little francesca-inspired session with myself in new york.

an update.

My apologies for the supreme lack of posts... life became a whirlwind that kind of swallowed me whole! Between my two vacations in the span of three weeks, my sometimes 60 hour work weeks, and the photoing I've been doing, I abandoned my lovely blog. My weekend goal is to get all caught up on life events and photo blogging before our two weddings this week.... so be expecting photos from Indiana, NYC, two fabulous couples, and a metal band, very sooooon! For now, i'm going to throw some instagram up from the last month so you can see all the serious love and fun I have going on in my life, from going back home again to indiana, to a few of a fabulous shoot we did (please note my american gothic face), my first Avery experience, and a select few from my visit to New York City.

plane ride to indiana.
so in love.

back home again in indiana.
the sample gates get me every time.

TEDDY AND JIMMY!

lucky number 34.
go cutters.

e.brodell and little teddy are besties.
so much happiness in this photo, my heart is just overflowing!!!

Sweet sonne and little teddy, i just die! teddy is really a show-stealer, if you can't tell.

race faces from the boys... tim, kevin, sam, and thomas. so squishable.

best.event.ever.

hilary & john's fabulous e-session

my own personal american gothic.

my boss insisted on being the first person to take me to her favorite brewery in town.

BEST SHOWER EVER.
my favorite part of NYC was taking my coffee in there every morning and looking out at the skyline. so good.

sunrise in nyc from our manhattan apartment.

nyc from the staten island ferry, the cheapest way to see the skyline.

at the francesca woodman exhibit, soloman's museum.














 

So, you may or may not know that I work at the YMCA in Boulder, and I'm second in command at the front desk... it would seem like I'm kind of a big deal. anyway... it's the kind of job where what you're required to know by your boss and what all the members assume that you know are two VERY different things. For example, I am required to know how to sell memberships and look into member accounts, but members assume that I know EVERYTHING, including how to open the vents to the outside for the basketball gym to adjust the gym temp, and how to put up the heavy punching bag. Fortunately for all parties involved, I thrive on a challenge and am now an expert on all of the above.

The next challenge is now upon me... for my birthday, I received the gift of discovering (because some of my favorite dresses are not fitting) that I really need to fit more exercise into my life in a big way.... my 2 mile run once a week is just not cutting it. So I've been utilizing my staff Y membership (like I should have been all along, geez!) a lot more lately but still having trouble getting motivated and feeling like I'm not really in the groove of it yet.

It's as if the universe knew I needed a little push and encouragement... one of my favorite regular members whom I see at the Y all the time, when I'm working and when I'm working out, came up to me at the desk last night. He said "Hey you... I've found that you never know when you're going to inspire someone." I was only a little confused, and he went on to explain to me that he had seen me running on the Y's indoor track last week, and he said that I just looked so at ease and so relaxed and I looked like I was truly enjoying my run; he said that he had been struggling with running because he just was not into it, but then he saw me and realized he just needed to relax and enjoy the experience. He then said "thank you for inspiring me."

I would consider that a life goal accomplished.

first present to arrive....

got a FABULOUS birthday present in the mail today, such a great surprise from my mom! behold.... a print on canvas from annechovie i could have only found with the help of caitlin numba two!!!

roommate field trip to celestial seasonings to take the factory tour (hairnets required, obviously)!

what a great way to spend a snow day. it snowed 20 inches and we took the factory tour instead of lounging at home.
looking at the photos, it seems i was more enthralled with all the people i was with than with the tour, whoopsy. sorry i'm not sorry! emerson was the big winner of the day; he was well-versed in celestial seasonings trivia and was given a calendar for it!

a few years ago, i was working full-time overnights for the department of natural resources in indiana at a campground. i was also working for IU's school of fine arts in the photo lab and working as the tour guide program student director in the office of admissions. i was also smack in the middle of the best few months of college spent living with my two best friends, rachel and erin. i also had this long-term guy in my life and we were pretty happy also. needless to say, i wasn't sleeping much in general, but things were busy and life was pretty full.

one morning, after getting off work at the lake, i plopped myself on the back porch of our house, watched the sun rise, and had this fantastic feeling. i was suddenly overcome with this feeling of intense fullness, and contemplated my life and decided that i had achieved what all people aimed for: i had it all. i did. i had EVERYTHING. great friends, great jobs, great boyfriend, a great college experience, great bike, my dream car, really everything. i spent 15 minutes or so basking in this feeling and feeling so happy and grateful that i had it all, and then I went in the house and continued on with my day, feeling fabulous.

right now, i remember that feeling. i remember how it washed over me, and it really affected my whole outlook on things.
more importantly, however, i remember what happened afterward almost as intensely.
it seemed like once i recognized that i had squeezed the juice out of life and made the best lemonade ever, the world stopped.
everything i had felt so grateful for was almost immediately and abruptly ripped away from me. within a week, my fabulous expensive bike was stolen from my house, my best friend officially moved away, my boyfriend had unceremoniously dumped me, and my car was broken due to an unfortunate run-in with a deer on my way home from work.
my happy world literally fell into a thousand pieces.

it took quite a while to rebuild my life after that, and, i'd say in the years since, i have never really had that feeling again.

well, boys and girls, i had it again.
i was driving to colorado springs this weekend for a photo shoot with carrie, and follow that up with a great visit to caroline and clayton afterward, and i was smacked immediately again with that uncanny feeling of sappy pure contentedness with my life, and that the sky really was the limit and that the world was just full of possibility just for me, and that i have it ALL.
only this time, i was afraid of that feeling, dreading the impending doom of when that feeling goes away, and being afraid of when the sky falls in on me again.
i realized that i have become wary of that feeling and didn't want to let myself feel it. and then... all of a sudden... baz luhrmann's song called "everyone's free (to wear sunscreen)" came on my ipod. and i chose to let myself feel that feeling, grateful for all that i have, even if it is only for 15 minutes.

here's to making that 15 minutes of having it all last a lifetime.

i've got it all.

a man asked me at work the other day what my New Year's resolutions were. i was abruptly hit with the fact that i don't have any.

i'm going to spend a little time doing something that i am very good at.... and that's focusing on the past. 2011 has been a hell of a ride.

[january]
i really had it with indiana. the weather, some terrifying medical testing, and a serious lack of travel all contributed in a big way to what I would consider the worst month of 2011... it really is all uphill from here, i'd say. it wasn't all bad, though.... alycin organized the fabulous roll n bowl evening, so much love. the roll n bowl was the highlight of my january:


[february]
i hit my milestone birthday, the last one for a while... i turned 25, and my friends threw me the best surprise birthday party; i just love having all of my favorite people in the same place! among other things, i forged an important bond with one of the kids at the shelter, met our fabulous wedding planner, morgan, for the first time, and decided, once again, that math really is not the subject for me. february favorite, a night spent with friends at the vid:


[march]
my talented friend, emily, wrote a play that depauw university's theater department decided to stage. it was my serious pleasure to visit greencastle and see it live, and celebrate with her afterwards. erik and i took some us time and visited asheville, north carolina, and knoxville, tennessee. march was a great month!



[april]
what can i say about april? it's always one of the best months of the year! little 500 happenings: another cutter win, another big cutter family celebration (AND teddy's first birthday bike ride!). it would also turn out to be the last team rev race, so happy to be coaching in the pit for them.

[may]

april really set the stage for may and the rest of the year, because may was just full of more celebrating. the stewarts got hitched and graciously allowed me to be part of their day, i got to shoot an event for summit city bicycles, erik and i went to arkansas for the second year in a row for a big race, and we sent mike off with a bloomington-style upland goodbye when he moved back to chicago.

[june]

june was a hard month, but still a good one. june saw the departure of more of my nearest and dearest friends... caroline and clayton moved off to colorado, and kristen moved to phoenix (but not before goodbye packing slumber parties and goodbye boats on lake monroe). june also saw most of erik's racing (and i saw the least of erik!), including nationals in Georgia.

[july]

let's be real, july was a serious blur wherein all i did was take care of anything and everything wedding related. we also had a major land-lord induced mold-problem that caused a last-minute move, so july was a whirlwind. ricketts visited, though, a july bright spot! July also saw the annual Bloomington crit, and the going away of another part of our Bloomington family, Hank.

[august]

i mean, august was a banner month, everyone i love (with the exception of very few) was all in one place to celebrate erik and i getting married. august was the beginning of something really grand! this is from our fab photogs, nate and amanda reynolds:

[september]

my fabulous friends kelly and josh got married in september, and it was fantastic!! september was also spent anxiously anticipating our visit to see caroline and clayton in colorado. little did we know, once we got there, a job would plop into erik's lap and we would become colorado residents when october hit. the ball was rolling really fast in september.

[october]

we tied up loose ends, and i did my best to say goodbyes to everyone inindiana. this may be the hardest thing i've ever looked forward to doing. and in october, i'm not gonna lie, i pretty much regretted moving for the entirety of the month. i struggled to find a job and feel in any way at home, even though we had fabulous roommates and were living next to mountains.

[november]

i started assisting carrie and we shot our first wedding together. every day of november was better than the last, and i got hired at the YMCA right after spending a few days in colorado springs for friendsgiving with caroline, clayton, mike, and kristen, and renee.

[december]

december saw our first murried christmas, and also the first without any family. i got promoted at the Y, and, most importantly, i finally started to feel like i fit in and colorado was really home. welcome to my home.

that's enough backward looking.

2012 is going to be the best year yet, and i am so looking forward to it.