a man asked me at work the other day what my New Year's resolutions were. i was abruptly hit with the fact that i don't have any.

i'm going to spend a little time doing something that i am very good at.... and that's focusing on the past. 2011 has been a hell of a ride.

[january]
i really had it with indiana. the weather, some terrifying medical testing, and a serious lack of travel all contributed in a big way to what I would consider the worst month of 2011... it really is all uphill from here, i'd say. it wasn't all bad, though.... alycin organized the fabulous roll n bowl evening, so much love. the roll n bowl was the highlight of my january:


[february]
i hit my milestone birthday, the last one for a while... i turned 25, and my friends threw me the best surprise birthday party; i just love having all of my favorite people in the same place! among other things, i forged an important bond with one of the kids at the shelter, met our fabulous wedding planner, morgan, for the first time, and decided, once again, that math really is not the subject for me. february favorite, a night spent with friends at the vid:


[march]
my talented friend, emily, wrote a play that depauw university's theater department decided to stage. it was my serious pleasure to visit greencastle and see it live, and celebrate with her afterwards. erik and i took some us time and visited asheville, north carolina, and knoxville, tennessee. march was a great month!



[april]
what can i say about april? it's always one of the best months of the year! little 500 happenings: another cutter win, another big cutter family celebration (AND teddy's first birthday bike ride!). it would also turn out to be the last team rev race, so happy to be coaching in the pit for them.

[may]

april really set the stage for may and the rest of the year, because may was just full of more celebrating. the stewarts got hitched and graciously allowed me to be part of their day, i got to shoot an event for summit city bicycles, erik and i went to arkansas for the second year in a row for a big race, and we sent mike off with a bloomington-style upland goodbye when he moved back to chicago.

[june]

june was a hard month, but still a good one. june saw the departure of more of my nearest and dearest friends... caroline and clayton moved off to colorado, and kristen moved to phoenix (but not before goodbye packing slumber parties and goodbye boats on lake monroe). june also saw most of erik's racing (and i saw the least of erik!), including nationals in Georgia.

[july]

let's be real, july was a serious blur wherein all i did was take care of anything and everything wedding related. we also had a major land-lord induced mold-problem that caused a last-minute move, so july was a whirlwind. ricketts visited, though, a july bright spot! July also saw the annual Bloomington crit, and the going away of another part of our Bloomington family, Hank.

[august]

i mean, august was a banner month, everyone i love (with the exception of very few) was all in one place to celebrate erik and i getting married. august was the beginning of something really grand! this is from our fab photogs, nate and amanda reynolds:

[september]

my fabulous friends kelly and josh got married in september, and it was fantastic!! september was also spent anxiously anticipating our visit to see caroline and clayton in colorado. little did we know, once we got there, a job would plop into erik's lap and we would become colorado residents when october hit. the ball was rolling really fast in september.

[october]

we tied up loose ends, and i did my best to say goodbyes to everyone inindiana. this may be the hardest thing i've ever looked forward to doing. and in october, i'm not gonna lie, i pretty much regretted moving for the entirety of the month. i struggled to find a job and feel in any way at home, even though we had fabulous roommates and were living next to mountains.

[november]

i started assisting carrie and we shot our first wedding together. every day of november was better than the last, and i got hired at the YMCA right after spending a few days in colorado springs for friendsgiving with caroline, clayton, mike, and kristen, and renee.

[december]

december saw our first murried christmas, and also the first without any family. i got promoted at the Y, and, most importantly, i finally started to feel like i fit in and colorado was really home. welcome to my home.

that's enough backward looking.

2012 is going to be the best year yet, and i am so looking forward to it.

So, we kind of got married backwards of how everyone else does it; normally, everyone gets to go to the ceremony, and then less people go to the reception because it expensive to feed and water everyone... we did it the other way around; very few people got to be at our ceremony (i'm thinking that it was right around 20 people all said and done, but EVERYONE got to go to the afterparty.

The point of all this is that not everyone knows that we wrote our own vows, and we both thought of them probably less than 24 hours before we actually did the getting married thing. Obviously, e-ham had to show me up and have more thought-out, longer vows than i did... but my vows have been in my thoughts a lot recently, especially this week. It was very simple for me; I said, "Every day is full of triumphs and tragedies, and, whether it be a triumph or tragedy, I will be by your side every day."

I've been thinking about all of this just in terms of how life works, and this week has been the epitome of little triumphs followed by tragedies. I'm working on balancing it all out with each other, because tragedies tend to draw out much more sorrow from me than the amount of joy that comes with triumphs. It's been so incredibly up and down lately... I was elated early this week when I got a third and fourth interview for this incredible job, and crushed beyond belief when I got my rejection for that job on Friday. We were fortunate enough to go to the Garmin-Cervelo Team Presentation on Thursday; we also went to Colorado Springs to visit Caroline and Clayton Friday and Saturday, but the realization that my unemployment wasn't enough to sustain activities for me beyond bills hit hard right as we were leaving (also known as it ran out for the week, AHH!).

Every day is filled with little triumphs and tragedies, and I am really working hard to make all of those little triumphs far outweigh the little tragedies we encounter.
Things will work out, this I know. I'm adhering to the philosophy that "you can't miss what you never had" when things don't work out the way I wanted them to.

Little triumphs for the week include discovering what kind of monster really resides in the attic (Ralph the squirrel) and Carter's homemade (and improvised!) pumpkin pie, and the puppies loving on each other, erik and clayton racing together once again, and time spent with good friends in Colorado Springs. Celebrate my triumphs with me.

so. we have these fabulous friends that are more like a family than friends. in fact, everyone calls it a family. we had a wonderful dinner with part of this family, erica and jason fowler, a couple days before we left bloomington, and hursh (aka erica) gave me this card. what was inside was one of the most fabulous gifts anyone has ever given me. i will share it with you all now, because i think it is a masterpiece:

Hursh's Top 10 Things to Consider when Moving to a New City/State

1. After you get all the boxes, bags, and laundry baskets into your new residence, set up and make your bed ASAP. You can do many things with your floor covered in newspaper, packing tape, and cardboard. Sleeping is not one of them.

2. When in doubt... drinking while unpacking is always a good idea. It will also help soothe the blow when you break your favorite trinket from growing up. Slippery bubble wrap!

3. Go up to the door, knock, and introduce yourself to your neighbors in the first few weeks. If they are great... then you can ask them to get your mail when you are gone; if they are really weird... you know who not to borrow a cup of sugar from.

4. Find out what the local magazine, newspaper, website is. I'm not talking about the Sunday times; I am talking about publications like NUVO and Indianapolis Monthly. Theytell you what are cool things to do, new restaurants, local events, etc.

5. Go to said things you find in magazine/newspaper. These places and events are

a. cool and mostly local.

b. cool and local people go to them = FRIENDS!

6. Don't change who you are because you are in a new place, instead find people who like to do what you do too. Sometimes it takes a few tries...but you will find it. Stay persistent!

7. The best way to figure out where you live is to run the streets. You can drive places, lace up, and go!

8. Get involved with something outside of work. Could it be the IU Alumni Association-Boulder edition? What about a local Photographer Meeting? Or the local running group? Find that group that is a Labor of Love. It will help keep you sane and busy!

9. You will cry at least once in the first few weeks and think.. "why did I do this to myself?" At this point, you have to suck it, make lemonade out of lemons, and remember that "happiness is a choice".

10. Above all else... remember that you can always go Home again. And Home is INDIANA! Those same people who loved you when you left, will still love you when you come back. Real friends pick up right where they left off.

Today has been a real #9 day. and i'm so thankful to have this wonderful gift and all of our wonderful friends. thank you hursh.

i spent last saturday at the Boulder reservoir, and got to watch the fabulous Katie Compton school the entire field of the elite women's cyclocross race (as usual, she's a beast). plus, it was so great to go to such an awesome race and it was only ten minutes from our house! WIN!

can i just say.... i cannot believe i live in colorado.

in case anyone hadn't guessed, erik and i made a major life change.

erik got offered a job at university bikes and it was the reason we'd been waiting for to move out of indiana.

anyone that knows me will know... i love all things as they were; i might be the most nostalgic person you've EVER met. film will always trump digital for me, my grandma's christmas ornaments from the early 1900s are a few of my most cherished possessions, and the day my aunt gave me her old record player was the greatest ever.

this transition was harder for me than i ever thought possible, probably because of my severe nostaligism (i made that word up; i definitely have that condition). who would think that moving to a state where the sun shines for more than 300 days a year would cause me so much grief?

all i have to say is...

thank goodness for skype.

i've never had a real reason to use it before, but now i relish my little alycin skype date breakfasts and all the times i call kristen on skype and she's not fully dressed.

i'm just spreading out the love over the whole country now.