i got some bad news yesterday. my external hard drive is officially screwed. no one can get anything off of it. there are 2 places in the whole country that you can contract (by paying them more than a thousand bucks) to open it up in a clean room and try to get things off of it, but there is no guarantee and it's 99 percent likely that it doesn't work at all. i was thinking about it, and the biggest tragedy here is that all of my personal photos will be lost. not my work, the exhibitions i did, not the hours and hours i spent on the computer perfecting things. it's the stupid things.... all those days at the track when i whipped out that stupid pink digital camera, everything i've done with friends since (and including) my 21st birthday, that camera recorded it. and now it's all gone. i look like i didn't do anything in college, i can't look back at pictures.... it's a big deal to me.

as all the cutters folks would say... shattered.

the word i'd use to describe me... devastated.

in other news, i think i scored a "job" (unpaid, plobvs) at the ellettsville boys and girls club as the art education assistant director for their after school programs. NICE. i'm pretty excited about it, actually... It's one more great thing for my resume. i printed out some apps yesterday (don't get excited), they are as follows:

-economic hardship deferment for my direct loans

-VIM paperwork to apply for free healthcare in monroe county based on my "poverty level" income

-music@menlo internship for a month at the end of summer in photography/videography in palo alto, CA.

i now have to re-vamp my resume (for each job/internship ew), write a cover letter, find a writing sample (which could be impossible, based on the state of my external hard drive).... it's times like this i wish i had a desk. i thought about taking my computer to the bakehouse or something. i should do that.

this morning i also discovered henry clarke (thanks to michelle sharing a vintage vogue blog with mads), a 40s/50s fashion photographer that i want to know more about and see more photos from. but i can't find much. there's definitely no books full of his stuff, an even google's failing massively on anything related to who he is or finding more than 10 photos. they're different for the time period... a lot of them focus on the environment to bring out the clothes (in some cases by obscuring the clothes) which is just so different than the glamour shot-esque style a lot of other fashion photos have going on from that era. new life goal: find out who or what henry clarke was.

i'm feeling more at home here. love love love spending time with all the people i'm becoming friends with. and all the people whom i have been friends with. it means a lot to be accepted into people's lives, and i'm happy that people have afforded me that opportunity so generously. so thanks. i think.

ooh ooh let's make a list of happy things.

*i leave for LA in t-minus 1 week and 6 days to see erin.

*i decided friends season 6 is my favorite one (i laughed the most).

*avatar was a great movie.

*i'm riding my bike almost every day again.

*i like "what i wouldn't do" by a fine frenzy.

*i bought flats yesterday. i feel good about it.