spent today doing lots of things, some which i needed to do, others which i wanted to do.

finally ate some serious solid food (after being flu-stricken for the last week) at village deli for breakfast with kristina (my first experience with VD [ha.ha.] for breakfast) and ellis was our server and it was good to see him and chat again. it's so funny, everyone seems to be in the same mode right now.... i'm not sure whether it's due to it being new years season and being inadvertently and societally forced to make resolutions/decisions/plans, or whether it's just that point of the winter when people subconsciously need something to look forward to, instead of bleak white/brown snow. erik is, kristina is, ellis was, i am... in need of feeling like i'm living my life like i'm supposed to, like there's got to be a way to get out indiana (this i already know, duh). like i'm waiting and waiting to do all these things i want to do because work/making money/being somewhat secure is more important. it may be time for a life reorganization, lolz. been thinking about my trip to LA. socal scares me.... i don't expect to be disavowed of any of my current assumptions about southern california. i'll be happy to come home, i think (but sad to leave erin once again).

on that note, i was at a bookstore today (mainly to buy a planner for 2010. i got a sassy brown one), and i was browsing my favorite section and i rediscovered annie leibovitz's "Women" and was just struck by the labels of all the women. "olympic gold medalist", "united states secretary of state", "mother", an all sorts of things. i wonder how they chose what to label them. someone who is a mother is certainly other things as well, just as there's more to the US secretary of state than her job title. and i was thinking, whatever label would have to change as life progressed. it seems limiting to use one label. but i mean, who can argue with annie and susan sontag? it just seems wrong.

i also looked a book that was beautiful inside and out. the great thing is that not only were the photos beautiful, but the concept was beautiful. something black and white made me appreciate the variety in my life and the variety in such dullness. "The Oxford Project". i was reading it and a dude walked up and i asked if i was in the way of him looking at the shelf and he said no and then saw what i was reading and said to me "i own that. it's amazing. if you don't mind a stranger's recommendation, i would buy that if i were you." i would have bought it if it wasn't 50 bucks and pawed over. i'll buy a nice new that one no one's bent up.

i saw a title out of the corner of my eye that was "why art cannot be taught" and my mind's first thought of how to finish it was "...it must be fostered." it's so true.

love today.

i was browsing a bookstore the other day (a pasttime i'm VERY fond of), and i found a collected and annotated book of thoreau's journals, starting when he was 20 years old. i turned it to when he was 23 (which happens to be as old as i am now) and i immediately found this, which i like: "be resolutely and faithfully what you are; be humbly what you aspire to be."

merry christmas.

to everyone, in my life and from my past lives.

to everyone who's ever made my christmas special.

it's a lovely time of year.

i have some things to mention. my external hard drive crashed and burned, and everything i had on there is lost unless i pay someone hundreds of dollars to scrape it off. it was the ruination of my evening in fort wayne.

i got a new phone! HTC droid eris and it is amazing. but a disturbingly low amount of people have called and/or texted me.

i know a ton of people visit my blog. but no one ever comments. weird.

also, i pulled the 6 am shift on new year's day. FML.

i got to ride this weekend, finally.

ugh i'm heinously behind on christmas shopping. it is time to rectify that immediately.

it's been a christmas event filled week.... the NUVO holiday party in indianapolis was thursday and i put on my party dress and had a lovely time. however, everyone got a free present and there were approximately 8 copies of "Drag Me To Hell" under there. Erik and I both opened one of those. fail. it was a great time though, i like seeing kate and david and everyone. 

kirkham's christmas party was last weekend, and it was good times had by all, however vargo forgot to inform erik that there was dressing up involved so we were not exactly dressed for the occasion.

to preempt the new year discussion, i've been looking back already on the ridiculousness that this year brought me. i started it literally the most unhappy that i have ever been, and am ending it happier than i've ever been. isn't it funny how things work like that?

look for a list of things i learned this year to come.

i got the thing i ordered for my dad in the mail today and i was so excited. this is the first christmas in 3 years that i feel back to my old self about it.

doing some research. not sure where it's going to get me or why i started doing it, but it's shaping up to be a weirdly accurate (though not a common) argument with a lot backing it. god, maybe i can get someone to pay me to write it as a dissertation and get a phd someday. hahahhaha i couldn't even think it and not laugh.

spent 2 hours today at the library listening to people argue circularly and not actually get very much further than they already were. it was about the future of the youth services bureau and moving probation officers into offices in the administrative side of the shelter and the board of judges taking control of YSB and the shelter. i wanted to smack some of the people, others i wanted to applaud... not because i agreed or disagreed with them, but because they presented rational arguments and raised important questions, some even without a bias.

so here's the goods from the portland trip (at least the edited and nice looking goods)...
best of the denver airport long exposures:


waking up early the next day:


one has to carry around a hairdryer so that you always have flowy hair:


a stop on mount hood to do some picturing:




(the only good ttv photo i got there):


exploring portland...
hawthorne:


stop for some mirror pond, behind the penny mart (on stark i think):


selections from the 2 days of the US Gran Prix of Cyclocross:


(the molly cameron):


(knapp, killin it):


(barry wicks):


(knapp again, being pro):


(me looking sassy):


view from the top of the cemetary on burnside:


bye bye breakfast:




(so i like american gothic):


exploring:


house of vintage:












pittock mansion's epic view:






we love.

one week and i'll be boarding a plane to see my best friend.

i've never been so excited in my life.

i don't exactly know about today.

i decided to dye my hair. which i'm precisely in the middle of.

i can't find my nine west black heels. like it matters; i never dress up anymore.

tried to find places to live in august. not very successful.

realized i missed the fall. i don't think i saw any colorful leaves. redbuds are my favorites.

i know the 2 people who read this don't care about any of this... when i feel motivated to sort through the 996 photos from this past weekend's 2 CX races and all (just to narrow it down to like 10 pictures), they'll go up on the blog. but i'm shockingly unmotivated. sigh.

OVCX columbus.
long drive, good day.

as promised, photos from the you and me day i so thoroughly enjoyed last sunday... we've never had a day where neither of us had anything to do; total freedom!
started out with breakfast at the bakehouse, so so wonderful (ran into the kids i nanny for, and everyone had to have a look at erik's tiger tattoo because the 2 year old just RAVES about it to the rest of the family, haha). then we went for a long ride, which turned into a way long ride due to angry setbacks at the beginning. angrybear/frustratedbear fixing a wheel:

it was a rough start to the ride, but it all went so well; i had tons of fun and i rarely ride on the west side of town.

we went to the firetower in hoosier national before it got all dark and shit.

erik looking pro, trying to take a picture with the seagull:

wandered around a trail for a little while:

even found some dead trees, courtesy of the emerald ash borer. in case you're unaware, this is what the beetle does to the soft tissue of a tree when it is killing the tree:

yeah. badnews. it looks cool but it killz treez.
dinnered ourselves at scotty's. it was an excellent day all around.

i went blogger AWOL for a minute. 'scuse me, it won't happen again. i went and lived some life and forgot to update the blog.

what'd i miss writing about...hum...

last weekend i got to enjoy the presence of a ms. rachel ricketts (YESSSSS!) but only went out with her one night instead of tailgating :(.

a number of things happened, including an angry bear of an erik threatening to throw one of ricketts' loud friends that i was hosting down the stairs. badnews. photos of a good saturday:

so erik skipped his race on sunday and we had a you and me day and it was amazing. pictures to follow.