Wednesday, December 30, 2009

spent today doing lots of things, some which i needed to do, others which i wanted to do.

finally ate some serious solid food (after being flu-stricken for the last week) at village deli for breakfast with kristina (my first experience with VD [ha.ha.] for breakfast) and ellis was our server and it was good to see him and chat again. it's so funny, everyone seems to be in the same mode right now.... i'm not sure whether it's due to it being new years season and being inadvertently and societally forced to make resolutions/decisions/plans, or whether it's just that point of the winter when people subconsciously need something to look forward to, instead of bleak white/brown snow. erik is, kristina is, ellis was, i am... in need of feeling like i'm living my life like i'm supposed to, like there's got to be a way to get out indiana (this i already know, duh). like i'm waiting and waiting to do all these things i want to do because work/making money/being somewhat secure is more important. it may be time for a life reorganization, lolz. been thinking about my trip to LA. socal scares me.... i don't expect to be disavowed of any of my current assumptions about southern california. i'll be happy to come home, i think (but sad to leave erin once again).

on that note, i was at a bookstore today (mainly to buy a planner for 2010. i got a sassy brown one), and i was browsing my favorite section and i rediscovered annie leibovitz's "Women" and was just struck by the labels of all the women. "olympic gold medalist", "united states secretary of state", "mother", an all sorts of things. i wonder how they chose what to label them. someone who is a mother is certainly other things as well, just as there's more to the US secretary of state than her job title. and i was thinking, whatever label would have to change as life progressed. it seems limiting to use one label. but i mean, who can argue with annie and susan sontag? it just seems wrong.

i also looked a book that was beautiful inside and out. the great thing is that not only were the photos beautiful, but the concept was beautiful. something black and white made me appreciate the variety in my life and the variety in such dullness. "The Oxford Project". i was reading it and a dude walked up and i asked if i was in the way of him looking at the shelf and he said no and then saw what i was reading and said to me "i own that. it's amazing. if you don't mind a stranger's recommendation, i would buy that if i were you." i would have bought it if it wasn't 50 bucks and pawed over. i'll buy a nice new that one no one's bent up.

i saw a title out of the corner of my eye that was "why art cannot be taught" and my mind's first thought of how to finish it was " must be fostered." it's so true.

love today.

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