i hate how doing the right thing causes a problem. but it's right. and i know i'm so much better off (i have been for a long time).

i'm working on my decisiveness. and doing well with it so far. i'm in control of my own life, thank you very much.

i like making erin's list of favorite things. it makes-a me happy.

i got bored of reading books to the kids in a normal voice, so i decided to pick up accents every time i read. my personal favorite is the minnesota/north dakota one. somehow i'm best at that one. also, i think i have absolutely NO maternal instinct.

i have an urge to take more photos. but i'm going to be stuck in the lab for 5 hours tonight. what i really would rather do is...anything else. i also decided to get up early tomorrow and ride (it's an EXCELLENT plan).

anxiety... not enough riding + too much eating (and drinking) bad things = a terrible plan.

lately all my large decisions come at one specific point, and with force. like i just realized/decided that i need a new job. i don't hate the one(s) i have (i mean, thank goodness i have a job anyway, right), they're just so... noninteresting and nonchallenging.

i want to start trail running. i know that's weird because i usually dislike running in all forms but i've been pondering it and i think it'd be all right. plus i've had a lack of nature in my life that only going into the woods can fix, and it's officially fall so it's going to be scenic runs, hurray. i want these.

i feel crazy. insane. in the best way possible. it's only getting better, every day.

good photos from a good weekend spent with the best of people.

no ride this morning. whatta terd i am, i didn't hear any of my alarms. i need to ride... i got re-fit and new shims and soles in my shoes. i needa see if i ride and don't hurt myself. 

i also managed to lose my driver's license to the depths of my life this week.

it's been awhile since i lost anything important so i guess i can't be too upset.

only it did prevent me from going to roy's last night. booh.

i have a mini-earache. weird.

i found this and i like it: "go make a life, not a living."

so i get calls. i have a $500 credit card fail that went to a collection agency. so sue me (hahhah). i'm not $26,946,702 in debt or anything. but it's all very confusing to me. i don't even want to answer because apparently they pay some law firm to call and say he's from a law office as a way to scare people into paying. i can give them the principal amount. i just don't know who to give it to. hummmm.

also, i'm a big fan of jay-z's song "empire state of mind". win.

don fired kyle and charlie today? weird. i don't even know.

oh man. (you know it's rough when) i'm making mid-day coffee.

urn burnz and i keep crossing wires and missing each others' calls.

speaking of erin (kind of).... plane tickets are bought and paid for.

oregon december 3-7. WIN.

might go pro tomorrow morning and ride early. that would make me happy. among many other things that make me happy.

i end every week and go "man next week is going to be so slow, i'm glad things are calming down after this week." and then by tuesday i feel like the week is again another crushingly busy one. i need a week of doing nothing. NOTHING but what i want to do. (that wouldn't work either because i don't know how to relax).

worked 12 hours yesterday at brl. gross.

8ish more today with the kids.

then....chili tostadas. mmhmm.

i'm in need of a social outing. a big one. with a lot of friends. OHMAN cricketts is visiting this weekendddd! yay.

weekend in fort wayne/huntington.also, today is day 61. best ever.

good things from huntington (before the stupid race went all wrong):

buying plane tickets to porrrrtlandia this weekend. it'll be the best 400 dollars i'll spend for the rest of the year probably.

target giftcard = the greatest invention under the sun. i need toilet paper. so i go to target, i have a giftcard. oh man! i left with a ton of shit i didn't need. but the great thing is, i didn't have to pay for it. well i also got hair dye. which i did need. desperately. i can't be my natural haircolor, it's so disappointing.

watched "closer" for a little bit today. it's so depressing. however, i like it because i'm getting tired of happily ever after movies. they're just so unrealistic... and closer is so terrible it could be true.

i spent last night working in the photo lab. i got little done. but i did take the other 2 parts of the lsat diagnostic test done. i'm fully aware you're supposed to take it all in one sitting like a real LSAT.... same with the practice tests. i would take it all in one sitting like you're supposed to, only i'm too ADD and hopped up on coffee all the time to take it in one sitting. that's what this book is for; it's a "practice" practice LSAT. next book will be legit practice for the test. and then the test. i have to get over my standardized testing ADD first. i bombed the logic games section (a big ol' 13 out of 24. ew), but on the bright side, i got 26 out of 27 in reading comprehension. not a surprise. with my shitty diagnostic; i get me a big ol 160. i'll live with that. thank god for reading comprehension, i don't know where i'd be without my stellar reading skillz.

tomorrow...me sleep in a little. i don't have any work until 11.

rediscovering the flaming lips today:

instead of saying all of your goodbyes

let them know you realize that life goes fast

it's hard to make the good things last

you realize the sun doesn't go down

it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

i think i worry too much. resolution to stop that. done.

lots to do today. POST OFFICE. so important. AND drop off the YAL photo drive. muy importante.

meera's back on the grid :-D i've missed that girl.

we went a-to yogi's last night, and also managed to see and hang out with kevin there; such a baller, my fav professor ever. he took some photos. you know. tried 2 new beers and an old favorite and only paid for two of them. happiness comes with knowing your bartenders and your bartenders' friends.

had fazoli's with corey. (AND saw adam. double whammy.)

i hate it. everything was fine. but i always feel like i have someplace better to be. i guess it's because i do. i just feel as though i come off as a bitch, which i don't mean to. i guess i didn't though.

our old landlord, the really cool one, is suing us. not cool anymore.

everyone in my current apartment complex is having a fit because of parking spaces. it's not hard at all. park in your fucking spot and i'll park in mine. but now we're having wars via rude notes left on cars because they parked in our spot so i had to park in theirs and it's all just stupid crap. grow up. i mean, i guess if i lived in a place with adults all around me, we wouldn't have this problem. instead, all my neighbors are 19 and 20 years old and irrational and think they're entitled to everything because mommy and daddy pay for it. they're also all chain smokers, if that speaks at all to their (supreme lack of) intelligence.

somehow i woke up before 8 today. i keep doing that.

i also watched tv this weekend. weird. i never do that.

i'm having another one of those moments where almost everything is right in the world. well, in my world, anyway.

those are amazing moments where i get to realize how great everything is.

they're also scary moments, because they're usually followed by something going massively wrong. hopefully not this time.

also, my bike and i are having a lot of quality time lately. which i'm stoked about. also, my knee has been bothering me on and off lately, which i'm not so stoked about. good ride with angie yesterday. mmyes.

good things:

back to me, please. i'm there.

to do soon:

dye my hair. it's about that time to go full on ginger again.

tatted. been talking about it too long and not doing it.

flying lesson. i'm going to have one soon. (p.s. i already reserved the plane and date [it's on october 9th]. win)

new photo project. it's gross but amazing. people like to look at grotesque stuff.... it's like driving by a car wreck; no one likes it, but everyone stares. more deets to come (and maybe just a little sampley mcgee if i get something good shot in the next few days).

also, i went all multitasky yesterday and took benji with me while i shot some somethin somethin for the YAL group, thanks to andrew sharp in new mexico for helping me out with this one. select few:

selected stuff from sloane&jason's wedding.

long weekend in detroit with some minor and major mishaps. nothing ever goes exactly according to plans anyway, right?

the schedule was hectic. i drove from bloomy to detroit from 11:30 to 5:15 am, worst longest drive ever. got up at 8 and got ready, and headed to the bridal luncheon at 10:30 in grosse pointe. went from the luncheon to the rehearsal and then to the rehearsal dinner and then finally back to the hotel at like 11:30. up again the next day at 7, to the hairdresser, then the church, the reception, and the afterglow.

it was lovely overall and in general.... photos soon when i get them all edited.

(grandma had an accident on the church altar. and that's the most disturbing thing that happened).

it was also sooooooo amazing to get to see my bestie, ms erin byrnes.

it was nice to come home to my favorite place. and my favorite people.

sloane and jason's wedding!

i'm a big fan of the last of the mohicans. don't judge me.

GREAT soundtrack. also a GREAT movie. with amazing scenery.

and just so we're all on the same page, i am not impressed by daniel day-lewis' man boobs and/or lack of a shirt.

i decided i need a fisheye/wideangle lenses. good plan.

i had this thought that i can't imagine how the family i'm sitting for does it all; three kids, a puppy, school, soccer, piano, full time jobs (one's a tenure track professor). i've never relished alone/quiet time so much in my life, ha.

detroit tomorrow/tonight. ewwwww and i've got to go to big red too tonight. blagh. maybe i can get out of going to big red. 

in other good news, i had a mcgriddle for breakfast. omg yes.

i just saw a commercial for lifelong literacy about exploring new worlds by reading books. too bad they used footage from the chronicles of narnia movie or some other movie like that. translation: they're telling kids to read books, only they don't actually have to because we keep making movies out of them, rendering the actual reading and imagination parts useless. great.