I got sort of sad the last couple days.

Well, i stumbled upon this great photographer/team and love their photos and they do weddings and they do a LOT of film work (medium format/holga/loveliness) but they're out of seattle and prePOSTerously expensive (at least for my budget, plus travel expenses for them = no good). and then after my talk with urn burnz yesterday i just kind of wanted to throw up my hands and elope.

i found out there's a plan for a joint bachelorette party in wisconsin with me and stacy. its a good plan because when are me, erin, and ricks all gonna be together again? i dont care if its a joint party. but then erin told me this was a necessary early bachelorette party because she probably wouldn't be there for much before my wedding because it's going to be taking many days off work/flights/etc. i shouldn't care because i'm not marrying her (LOL we are already married on facebook) but...she and cricketts are like the most important people i want there besides erik. and if they aren't going to come for much, well, i just kind of want it to be just me and erik and what's the point of having this great wedding stuff if the extra few people closest to you aren't helping you through hyperventilation or fainting or keeping a potential bridezilla in check or anything? if i can't have everyone (i mean EVERYONE) i want for as long as i want, i feel like i just want to go to the courthouse.

is this... it may be... the beginning of a crazy bride? no. i will not fall into that trap.